Eclipse, or “Twilight 3” as it’s informally (and unimaginatively) being touted in the US, is the latest slice of pubescent Emo candyfloss straight from the pen of author Stephenie Meyer, screenplay writer Melissa Rosenburg and the re-imagination of director David Slade.
A previous film of Slade’s, “Hard Candy” - about a 14 year-old girl who catches potential paedophiles so she can exact vigilante-style justice on them – is a wonderfully original, disturbing but morally intricate piece of work. Not so with Eclipse I’m afraid. But don’t let that put you off. I have to admit that personally I found it very enjoyable.
The film continues where the last film left off and follows the love affair of high school student Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen. During the previous film “New Moon”, Edward leaves Bella, believing that she will be safer if he is not part of her life. Distraught, Bella turns to her best friend Jacob Black for support, not realising that he is a werewolf. He (of course) falls in love with Bella, just in time for her to go running back into the arms of the erstwhile Edward. And there we have it: the perfect cocktail for teenage anguish.
In Eclipse, Jacob and Edward are both trying to protect Bella from the vengeful Victoria (someone Bella managed to tick off in the first film for reasons which I won’t bother to explain here.) Not only that, but there’s also an army of newborn vampires causing untold havoc in Seattle. This has the potential to bring the vampire police a-calling. Not a good idea when you previously promised them you’d turn your human girlfriend into a vamp ASAP and have so far neglected to do so.
And, to make matters even worse (if you can imagine such a thing), there are some seriously pressing teenage issues to be considered: Edward wants to marry Bella, Jacob wants to steal Bella from Edward and as if that wasn’t enough, Bella wants to sleep with Edward, but Edward won’t sleep with Bella! Oh, the incalculable drama of a teenager’s life.
On the upside, there’s certainly a lot of eye candy for the ladies. If you don’t like the effeminate charms and tortured “what’s that smell” acting of Robert Pattinson as the overly Byronic Edward Cullen, you can enjoy the “is-he-on-steroids” appeal of the frighteningly buff Taylor Lautner, as the spurned and furious Jacob Black. Watch it though ladies - despite the body, Lautner was only seventeen during the making of this film (as the fluffy top lip in his close ups will attest to.)
And for the boys, there's Hollywood’s new girl next door, Kristen Stewart, apparently perfect for the role of clumsy ol’ “normal” Bella Swan. My heart goes out to all the poor Twilight fans who’ve been dreaming of their own Edwards, based on the fantasy that Bella is supposed to be “ordinary” looking. Okay, I admit that she's no Angelina Jolie, but seriously, the girl's the size of a pencil. Actually, she'd probably give the pencil a weight complex. It would be less fantastic to imagine the existence of vampires and werewolves than to believe that a Hollywood exec would ever cast a “normal” girl in such a role.
My advice to anyone planning to see this film is this: don’t take it seriously. It’s just a bit of fun and should be taken with a huge pinch of salt. I have to admit, I don’t think it’s one for the boys, but girls, I thought it was worth a watch, even if it’s only so you know what everyone’s been going on about.
And did I mention there was lots of eye candy? It’s worth watching for that if nothing else. It’s about time we had a film full of sexy guys for a change instead of the Hollywood staple of geeks hooking up with gorgeous women. It’s not exactly girl power, but I’ll take it.