As the tall and mysterious man led me down the shadowy alleyway in South London, I knew I was either on the way the most romantic date in the world, or about to suffer a grisly death. Fortunately the alley didn’t lead to an abandoned shipyard, but rather to a secluded pub by the side of the river Thames, appropriately named The Riverside. Romantic, relaxed and classy enough to impress without making my chap look needlessly flash, it had just the right elements to encourage successful second dates.
Mr Mysterious had reserved a plush sofa by the floor length windows, so I contentedly sank into the luxuriant cushions and ordered a Bloody Mary (all the cocktails are £6.00), made with Stolichnaya Vodka and with the full compliment of celery, horseradish, Worcester sauce, Tabasco, lemon juice and seasoned with salt and pepper. When my beau looked askance at my choice of beverage, I explained that it was the equivalent of a starter with added alcoholic advantages. He meanwhile ordered a Staropramen (£4.00) and a plate of spicy, crispy squid with garlic mayonnaise (£5.75).
Good, thought I (with barely concealed sexism); if he’d ordered a cocktail, then that would have been the end of that. A real man shouldn’t drink cocktails when he’s trying to impress a girl, even if the menu runs from Caipirinha (sagatiba Cachaca served over muddled fresh lime, brown sugar and crushed ice) to Cosmopolitan (Absolut Citron Vodka, Cointreau, orange bitters, cranberry juice and a squeeze of fresh lime shaken until ice cold and fine strained into a large martini glass.). Hey, it mightn’t be fair, but I didn’t write the rules. I think that was Candace Bushnell or someone. Luckily for my beer swigging adonis, the bar at at The Riverside is furnished with a good range of both ales and premium lagers.
Looking around the pub, I have to admit that I was suitably pleased with the venue. Pub it might be, but the decor has taken cues from such venues as All Bar One crossed with a dash of West End restaurant and gentleman’s club. The high celings and copious amounts of dark polished wood frame an island bar, with an impressive array of wines and spirits, while the floor plan places a dedicated dining area (with the now de rigeur window into the kitchen), alongside more traditional bar stools and slumpy sofas. There is a generous terrace outside which forms part of a broader piazza running alongside the river’s edge, just below Vauxhall bridge. With the MI5 building across the road, it seems like the people who built St George’s Wharf were asked to distract potential attackers from the rather less dramatic secret service building.
If the drinks menu says bar, the food menu certainly says pub with an array of solid favourites, such as free range Cumberland sausage and mash served with red onion gravy (£10.40), West Country rib eye steak with Portobello mushroom, grilled plum tomato and chips (£14.35) and fresh fish grilled or battered with chips and mushy peas (£10.40), not to mention a range of pies (£11.00 each).
On the slightly more adventurous side, the menu also boasts such tempting delicacies as smoked mackerel fish cakes, served on a bed of wilted spinach with lemon and parsley butter sauce (£9.95), baked trout with lemon and white wine on roasted sweet potatoes and steamed rice (£10.50) and seafood linguine with courgette, chilli and cherry tomato (£10.40).
The desserts are much the same; we have the British standard of bread and butter pudding, jazzed up with honey icecream (£6.00) and a selection of (of course, British) cheese with real ale chutney and biscuits (£6.25), offset by fruits of the forest berry crumble with white chocolate icecream (£6.00) which has a slight touch of the brasserie about it. Basically, the bread may be foccacia and come with olive oil but the fish chips is still very much fish and chips.
After sharing our fusion platter of duck spring rolls, tempura king prawns, spiced chicken skewers, prawn crackers and a chilli squid and prawn salad (£12.00), without any disasterous spillages or dribblings, and enjoying a bottle or two of Mitchell Estate Riesling (£21.95), it was time for the journey home. And let’s just say, Mr Mysterious got himself a third date and ain’t that mysterious any longer.
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